In Praise of Baggage

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The next perpetually single person in their 40s who whines at me that they thought they’d be married by now, then in the next breath qualifies it with “but I don’t want someone with baggage” would be well advised to step back quietly, making no sudden movements so as not to … [Read more...]

Laying Down My Sword

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"I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I'll fight for what I love." That's been my mantra most of my life. I fought to get out of a difficult childhood. I fought friendly fire in a male-dominated military. I fought for my marriage when it was breaking down, and when my husband was … [Read more...]

A February Refocus

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After all the busyness of the holiday season and the New Year, now is the perfect time to ruminate where we went right and where we went wrong. To look hopefully on the year ahead of us and make lists and resolutions of how to make this the best year yet. Or, for those who want … [Read more...]

Raising Kids – Village Style

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It takes a village to raise a child… Parenting in modern day society has challenged the idea of village style parenting. From the day you announce your pregnancy to the world, people feel entitled to voice their opinions and their way of doing things with your kids. This type … [Read more...]

Why I Want My Kids To Like Their Stepmother

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And why I want my ex-husband to be happy... I remember when my ex-husband got in to his first serious relationship about 6 months after we split. I was shocked when friends asked me if I was upset about it or angry. I had left him, he deserved to be happy. A big part of why I … [Read more...]

How We Maintain Our Goals

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One of the most influential books I read in 2015 was The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg.   The book was a suggestion from my brother who is the uber, Type-A personality – my actual twin born 9 years apart! This book…I mean, it can … [Read more...]

Sit With Yourself

Lucy Sit with yourself

Noise, children, social contact Summer days and nights Exhaustion of the best kind Escape from the demons in my mind   Alone the pain finds a way To break down all the walls All the tools I use to deflect The deep and raw wounds   From the … [Read more...]

The Courage to Try

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If you reviewed my life from the outside looking in, one would think 2015 had been a year with more heartache and failure than success and triumph. If I was the 2014 version of myself, I would probably have to agree. Looking at a quick overview of 2015, it looked like a total … [Read more...]

The Pack Mentality

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I have been participating in message board systems and experimenting to see how various posting styles and opinions influence the threads for about 6 years now. I have found it interesting to see how the currents of opinions ebb and flow, what can change the direction of a thread … [Read more...]

When Stepfamily Becomes Family

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This past weekend was our son’s 21st birthday. All he wanted was for his family to go out to dinner to a restaurant together. A simple thing to ask, until you add in the complex dynamics of a family fractured by divorce. He is a kind and considerate young man and asked … [Read more...]